Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
