She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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