Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
