But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
