Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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