it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
