So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
