We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
