He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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