i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
