i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
