pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
