She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
