Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Welp...herpes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He has the fingertips of a God
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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