did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
