Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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