She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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