Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
