I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
