yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
