I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
