I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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