I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
