Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
