At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
