He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
