I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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