Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
