we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
