i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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