"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
