Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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