is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
