I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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