worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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