I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
