He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
