Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
