Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
