she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
