well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
