He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize