Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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