I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
