that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize