dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
