i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
worst night to have a conscience
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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