It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
