mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
