So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
