If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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