batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
