I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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