even my farts smell like vagina
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im holly from the hills drunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
