that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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