who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
