fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
