Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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